Work, Life, Responsibility, ANXIETY

Well that was a long blogging hiatus! I’ll be honest with you, I hadn’t planned to be away for so long. Life was hectic, continued to be hectic, then got even more hectic and giving equal focus to every aspect of your life and work is impossible. Say it with me now, impossible. This is a lesson I’m still learning every day, because I’m a perfectionist in the worst sense of the word. For mother’s day I made a layered and baked ratatouille and delivered some very well received gifts. My husband and I were out all day, then the moment we got home I was struck with a wave of anxiety. I hadn’t done enough. Everyone had a good time but it could have been better. Now, it’s good to be thoughtful and thorough but at this point I realise that the above reaction isn’t very helpful or healthy. Perfectionism can be paralysingly stressful. For the past the past month I decided to give myself a break while I try to find the best routine and balance that I can. It won’t always work, the ball will be dropped, but that’s ok.

Another theme of my recent stress has been reconciling my writing with my art. I have always done both, but becoming a published author has been the biggest goal and dream of mine for many years. Recently I’ve been making more and more time for my art as well, with the interesting side effect of guilt. Thoughts along the lines of ‘I’m a writer aren’t I? If I make a lot of art too then I’m a fraud!’. Funny, right? You might be picking up on how I’d like to do it all but also feel like any effort is superficial if I’m allowing myself to explore other things. How does that work? It doesn’t. I used to spend energy following these anxieties down the rabbit hole, but now I try to notice them and let them pass on by. Sometimes it’s easier than others, but it’s great to be able to laugh, shake my head, and get on with my day. I’d be interested to know if you’ve had a similar experience.

So. I took a month off from blogging, and now I’m back. Let’s do this.

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